I sat there reading those letters
Tears pouring down my cheek
For all that could have been
If I had only just seen
But I chose you, not them
And now I am still locked up
While they are free
And I am still discovering me
I wish I had realised my true soul friends
The ones that would be here
The ones that saved me from fear
But you took me over
And I forgive you for that
But sometimes I wish I could
Smash you into your perfect mirror
And take my whole life back
--------------------------
10 years ago
I walked my final walk
10 years ago
I told God it was his choice
10 years ago
I lay in my grave
10 years ago
I took my life
10 years ago
I returned
10 years has passed
And I will mourn for myself
10 years too late
As I mourn, I rejoice
It was 10 years ago
And still I am here
Fighting to understand
I am still terrified, confused
Depressed, angry, in pain
But 10 years, 10 years, 10 years
It has been 10 mother fucking years
So in that I still have hope
------------------
I dreamed I was on a bus
that drove me further and further from Home
and at the end your Fear stood before me
and I shook, for you were angry at me
and begged for mercy
but it was all myself
I dreamed I was on a bus
full of the terror of my darkness
from which I could not escape
then an angel appeared from the ether
and reminded me of who I was
and the bus took us Home.
------------------
i read this site
every few months
to remind me what i once was
so i can get through another day.
-------------------
dark demons
extracted from my mind
one by one
can you not see
i am grieving and lost
can you not see
i am the cat in the box
that is alive and dead
demons drain me
but i fight them every day
i will be free
when the Universe decides
I hope you have awoken
to your demons
by then
or you will be desolate
and without a friend.
-------------------------
there is nothing in my head
because my soul is empty
as empty as the universe
full of stars
dont know where I was
where I am going
where I am
I am just a void
waiting to be created
expand me
so i know myself
create me
so i am reality
beautiful void
help me embrace you
